Do I really accept?

I have been doing some deep thinking on the thought of acceptance for the reason that there has been something about accepting that has been bothering me for several months now. I believe I can take responsibility for my actions or even for my condition at a point in time, but I am not sure I can say I accept where I am. I can’t accept but am willing to take responsibility almost sounds moronic now that I type it out and look at it. Instead I see my ego getting in the way of me thinking I don’t accept a certain situation when deep down I must have if I am taking steps to change things around. Maybe I don’t like the situation I am in, but I do accept it so I can make my life better.
Part of dealing with acceptance is to spend time witnessing and becoming aware of the restrictions that are going on in our bodies. As I was doing this I started to realize that my biggest restriction is not about bad habits or toxins I take into my life, but is about a fear I have. It is the fear of becoming a successful person, a person actually able to support myself and a family. Too many times my health destroyed any success I was gaining that I’m not sure I can accept the thought that yes I can be a successful person and what has happened in the past is just that, the past. I feel like I can take steps to move in the direction of success, but not sure I can accept it. Yes I can see how that sounds dumb, but it is the way I feel right now. Should I look at my ego to see if that has anything to do with it? No, maybe just all my experiences added up have let itself become this real thought of not being able to accept success and happiness.
So how can I change this way of thinking? The change actually becomes a lot easier now because of my most powerful tool, awareness. Now that I am aware of my fear I can start to let myself change my views. I can take things one step at a time instead of trying to look ahead at the big picture that scares me, and then as my new experiences change, so will my reality.