Fighting Least Effort

It was right around this time last year towards my birthday that I noticed the first pain that I knew so well from past experience. It was the pain in my lower right quadrant of my belly telling me that things were not moving like they should, a partial blockage. I didn’t want to accept this was happening and I ignored it at first. Then all through last summer and into the fall I let myself deteriorate telling myself that this couldn’t be happening to me again, after all I’m the teacher, the yogi, the one who has control over my health.
Stating in October I was ending up in the hospital every few weeks. In over 20 years I never had a CAT scan for my Crohn’s disease and now all of a sudden I had 6 scans in just 3 months, I’m betting they must have some new equipment that needs paid for. Some how at this point I made myself think that not eating was the best choice, it at least seemed a better choice then the partial blockage and the hospital. I mean if I didn’t eat anything solid, nothing could get blocked. I did not want to give up and knew my best chance was in California at the Chopra Center for well being. It is what has worked in the past…
The first time I was supposed to go out to the Chopra Center I had to pick the emergency room instead of the airport. I made it another 4 weeks and got to The Chopra Center weighing in at 97 pounds. Dr. Simon hurt my feelings a little bit by calling me an official 97 pound weakling, but those were also the words that made me want to show him. That was the point I finally started to accept my situation for what it was and the direction it was heading. I started to move in the direction of least effort. I got a list of good healthy things that I would be doing all day long for the next 10 days while staying at The Chopra Center and La Costa Resort.
Today I have that same problem just starting all over again; My mind is so active I have trouble meditating for just a few minutes let alone 30 minutes twice a day. My mind is an active mess and my body will soon follow if I don’t do something about it. I have decided to do what I should have done last year and go back to the Chopra Center for a 4 day retreat before things get out of hand. Now at 116 pounds I am 19 pounds heavier then I was just 3 ½ months ago when I was last out there. Meditation, yoga, and massage is going to be my reset button to keeping my health.