My body eating itself..

I watched a show on the Discovery Channel last night about the human brain being pushed to its limits. It was a great show because it made the complex physiology understandable for everyone. It helped me understand what my body and mind were going through at the end of last year when I decided starving myself was better then going to the hospital over and over and getting CAT scans, tubes up my nose, needles stuck everywhere, and worst dealing with doctors. Even though it was not the smart choice somehow I decided not eating was the best way for me to survive. My mind went into emergency mode and decided that I was going to still get my nutrients, but it was by consuming my own body. It started eating what little fat I had and went on to breaking apart the proteins in my body by taking the nutrition from my muscles. This went on until the start of 2008 when I stepped on a scale and it showed I was at a weight that I haven’t seen since I was around 12 years old. I had to face what was happening.
Thank God I decided that I am not ready to die and that my body living off itself was not the answer. When I started eating again food that was making me sick became healthy pleasures that my body soaked up. New items like organic yogurt smoothies have become part of my everyday life while yoga and exercise have built my muscle back. It is amazing how we can go into these survival modes when things hit the worst of times and we think it is all over. I am reminded of Deepak Chopra’s words about how are life is like the weather. Sometimes there are terrible storms with major devastation and destruction that takes place. But we can trust one thing about the storm; it will come to an end. We will rebuild from the worst of storms while getting to enjoy some sunshine.