Yesterday I must have eaten around 3000 calories, I seemed to be hungry all day long. I've been able to do that way before I got here but there are some differences now. One is that I only had two bowel movements yesterday. Still loose and painful, but I was having 8 or more painful bouts before I got here. For years running to the bathroom first thing in the morning was always a must for me. I need an empty bathroom in the morning, I've been known to go 4 or 5 times before most people wake up in the morning. This morning after eating all that food yesterday something different happened, I haven't had to go to the bathroom yet. Somehow all that food is absorbing in to my body. So far since I have been here I have gained 8 pounds back and have a plan to keep gaining. I would like to be back to my normal old weight of 120 pounds and now actually can see that happening. I am looking forward to getting back home and seeing my daughter Lily, I miss her so much and I think she misses her daddy also. Something I haven't let myself do in many years when I travel is eat the day before I travel and the day I travel. I figure the less in me, the less that will come out, but I don't have that fear now. I plan a full day of eating today and eating tomorrow which for me is a sign of emotional freedom.
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